Tag Archives: never give up

The Bitter Sweet Departure – Bitter Bit

Hello

FROM THE OTHER SIDE!


Reporting from Sydney!

The past few weeks before my departure were TOUGH. The term BITTER SWEET applies, literally. Up till the NIGHT before I left, my heart was a tangled mess of feeling settled AND unsettled.

Let’s start with the BITTER bits and top it off with a SWEET ending in the next post!


 BITTER

1. Dengue Round 2

After 2 wonderful weeks in Hawai’i, there was a ‘sweet’ surprise at the end.

It was a Monday (4 days after we came back from Hawai’i). After an awesome training session with my client, my head was heavy and I was running a fever that night. I did 2 sessions in the blazing hot sun (one on Saturday and one on Monday), so I thought I was suffering from heat exhaustion! I took 2 Panadols and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up feeling quite the same. Took another 2 Panadols to survive the morning. I managed to go to the dentist and then to Apple physio for my treatment. By noon, I was complete dead. My bones were aching, my fever persisted and my head was about to explode! I slept for the rest of the afternoon.

By evening, my dad said that my mom was suffering from the exact same symptoms. Immediately, I knew it was dengue. There was a dengue outbreak when we were in Hawai’i so the chances were high.

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After all the hoo-haa, we were both diagnosed with dengue.

Seriously, dengue?! Again?! I felt like the ‘luckiest’ person on the planet. I just recovered in July 2015 (6 months ago!) and my hair fall cycle had just stopped.

But it was quite funny. Round 1 was with my dad and round 2 was with my mom! (I’m being the good daughter. You know, accompanying my parents through and through) Also, when we were in Hawai’i, we joked about how it would be funny if we had brought the Hawaiian strain back to Malaysia after seeing the “Dengue Outbreak” sign. I guess it was NOT THAT FUNNY AFTERALL!

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FEAR

My main fears were the PAIN and the post-dengue recovery period that I had to go through. I couldn’t imagine going through the process of jabbing head spasms, vomitting and getting admitted to the hospital. I didn’t have time to be in the hospital! I was SO STRESSED OUT! I had planned my client schedule to the T so that I was able to finish my work before I left. I also scheduled many meet ups and runs that had to be cancelled!
I wanted to tick stuff off my list, not cancel them!

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And of course, the horrible recovery period which could take a long time! I was feeling very fit and strong up till that day. I couldn’t imagine starting from ground zero……AGAIN! It was SO hard. 🙁

IMG_4524Mentally, I failed.

I prayed SO HARD that I would be okay and that my platelets would not drop too low. Thankfully, it didn’t! The lowest was at 116 and I only felt pain/weakness for the first 3 days! After that, I felt really okay! PHEW!

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Processed with VSCOcam with t1 presetI was up and running (literally) after 5 days!

IMG_4455My mom was admitted for a few days because she was not drinking enough water. Also, she had terrible head spasms and needed strong pain killers.

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Thank you Tom, Dick and Harry (Colin and Bruce) for the crab soup!

I want to thank GOD and all my family/friends who have prayed for us and for those who have showed love, care and support! We feel so blessed to have you guys in our lives.

We’re both okay now. My mom’s recovery is still slow but she is getting there! She’s a fighter! 🙂IMG_3046


2. My Uncle (mom’s younger brother) Passed Away (6th Feb)

It was sudden. TOO SUDDEN.

To make things worse, we received this news DURING our dengue period and just 2 days before Chinese New year! My mom had to receive it when she was at the hospital! Double stab to the heart. 🙁

He had no known medical condition. He collapsed in the bathroom and that was it.

It was such bad timing. It was CNY, I was preparing to leave for Australia and we were down with dengue.

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It was a really difficult time for my family. My mom especially. I was riding on an emotional roller coaster. From feeling sick from dengue to feeling better again to feeling excited about Australia to feeling deeply saddened about my uncle’s sudden death to feeling happy about CNY to feeling disappointed/depressed over not having enough time to finish up whatever I had planned before leaving……

These were the main things that ROBBED me of my time to finish up my work, run errands, spend time with family/friends. I really apologise to everyone whom I promised but didn’t deliver. I feel terrible and I am sorry.FullSizeRender_1

I guess this is LIFE.

Unpredictable.

Everything is truly in God’s hands. He gives life and He also takes it away. It is also a reminder that He owes us NOTHING! You plan things and sometimes, God just says NO! But I know, He knows best.


3. My Brother Got into an Accident

This happened THE NIGHT BEFORE I LEFT TO AUSTRALIA! And my flight was at 9:10am the next day.

He was on his bicycle going down a hill and somehow, he flew off his bike and crashed in the middle of the road. He lost 3 teeth, had to have stiches on his brow and wounded all his limbs. THANKFULLY, he was riding in front of a car that was going relatively slow. If not……it could have been a lot worse.

IMG_5152This was how I said goodbye to my brother…… at the hospital!

He was admitted to the hospital for a full observation. My mom was in distress. She was supposed to follow me to Australia. She was already stressing over work and her recovery with dengue……and now this?! She was THIS close to cancelling her trip and losing her mind. I had no problem with that but it was all too sudden. I cannot imagine what my mom went through. 🙁

Mommy, you’re so strong! 🙂IMG_4462You cannot control what happens. You can control how you react. 🙂

STRESS!

You know how the night before you’re supposed to be busy with last minute packing, feeling excited/sad/happy and doing some planning?FullSizeRender_2

I was THIS close to a mental breakdown.

I had to add this to my plate of STRESS! I was feeling SO overwhelmed. It had been a productive day of meet ups, massage sesh, food, hair cut, physio, a run AND this just had to happen! I broke down several times in the car on the way to places. I just couldn’t handle the stress. I had quite a few things to do before my departure the next day.

Truly, by God’s grace that everything went smoothly. My brother was okay and he is now en route to recovery.

I was just disappointed that I didn’t get to spend much time with my dad and brother as they were both at the hospital and it was a rather pathetic departure.


Timely Reminder

This was what I went through the last 3 weeks leading up to my departure to Sydney.

SO DRAMA! MUCH WOW!

Not exactly what I had planned or how I wanted it to be. It was not easy emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. There were SO many questions in my head.

WHY? WHY ME? WHY NOW?

Like I said, whatever it is, TRUST that GOD knows best. 🙂 I feel assured and at peace that everything will be okay.IMG_5410

This is part and parcel of life.FullSizeRender

If you fall, GET BACK UP! NO MATTER HOW HARD or HOW IMPOSSIBLE it seems.

What doesn’t kill you, makes you STRONGER! Really.

🙂

5 Ways to Get BACK into the Game

You’ve got a solid training plan, you’ve successfully incorporated “health and fitness” time into your busy schedule, you’re on a roll, you’re seeing results, you’re at your peak…… and BAM!

125806194609612954500101197_Life_PRETRAILERSource: www.discovery.com

Life gets in the way – family, work, injury, sickness. Keeping up with your fitness regime is the last thing on your list. You’re forced to take a few days off or maybe even weeks (or months!). Your fitness level is not the only thing that you lose. Your motivation will probably go along with it. Getting your butt out the door is ALWAYS the HARDEST part. No more excuses! Time to kick start your engine.

Side note: Taking time off is good especially if your body is craving for a time out.


 

  1. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

You’re probably feeling guilty. And you decide to punish yourself by going all out, doing as much as you can. This is a recipe for disaster. You simply cannot pick up where you left off (depends on how long you’ve been out. But I’m assuming it is long enough for you to lose some fitness gains). Not only are you setting yourself up for potential injury, your confidence level might suffer a huge blow. Setting high expectations which you know you cannot reach is only going to leave you demotivated.

Let’s face the facts: You’re not going to be as fit. You need to drill that into your head.

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Take it easy, be silly and have fun!

I should be the last person to say this because I can be very hard on myself. And it was and still is very hard for me. I know that I am not at the peak of my fitness just yet. So, I have to remind myself to do what I can with what I can.

What to do:

Take it slow. Step by step. You’ve got to learn how to walk before you start running again! Whatever the reason for your time off, your muscles mass and fitness level would have deteriorated. Your body will need time to adapt and adopt a “new” routine.

If you ran every day of the week, you might want to start off with running 3-4 days a week. If weights were your thing, you can opt to reduce the weight, reps and sets. By doing that, you are gradually building your body up, regaining strength and endurance. Try not to overdo it by trying to hit your previous PB. Do more when you feel more confident with your ability.

Set REALISTIC goals. Goals that are high but achievable at the present moment. Remember that your fitness and health is a lifelong journey, not a destination. Get excited to be embarking on a new journey with new goals!

  1. Seek Fun and Joy

For your first session, ditch your gadgets! We’re not going to get into the nitty gritty details of your training. No time, no pace, no distance. Just GET OUT THERE and be grateful that you can be back on your feet. Whether it’s in the gym or out on the road, just aim to get a good sweat sesh!

What to do:

IMG_4962Remember why you started running/working out. Remember how it felt after every session. Get those happy hormones flowing!

  1. Try Something New

To keep things fresh and exciting, try something new!

Not only will this prevent you from hitting a plateau, it might also boost your performance! Remember that your body adapts to your style of training. After some time, it gets bored and your body stops reacting to the stimulus of change.

What to do:

If you’re a runner or an athlete, switch up your training plan! Try a new route for your long run, add in a day where you run by how you feel, change the menu of your speed workouts. For example, you can take a scenic route for your long run and for your speed workouts, you can change the volume and intensity (there is a lot that you can play around with).

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If you’re a fitness enthusiast, join a dance class, bootcamp session, group running, go rock climbing or hiking.

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The most important thing is to find what you LOVE to do. If you love what you do, it makes it more sustainable! You should not be dreading every session/class/workout.

IMG_4971Try group running!

  1. Get Organised

Once you have found your ultimate sport/training plan, it is time to pen down when/how you are going to execute them. Being mentally and physically prepared means you are that much closer to achieving your goals!

What to do:

I like to have a physical planner and calendar. I like to WRITE DOWN (not type) my plans and goals. Not everything has to be digital. There’s something about picking up a pen and physically mapping it out on a big sheet of A3 cardboard.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetThis is exactly what I do! I like making my own calendars.

Plan your days and set a time. That way, you are more likely to follow through with your plan. With a set time, you can plan your meals around it too. This ensures that you are properly fuelled both before and after your workout. It will also help you to avoid unnecessary clashes with meetings, work, family time or dinner dates with your friends!

  1. Find Your “WHY”

You need to look for the “why”. If you cannot think of why you want to do this, chances are you’re going to either give up DURING your workout or you’re not even going to begin your workout.

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If you can’t justify the sweat and the pain, you won’t do it! Come on, why do we want to put ourselves through torture, right?!

What to do:

Write down a few “WHYs” starting from the most important one.

Why are you doing this? What do you want to achieve? What are your goals? Maybe you know of a family member who is battling with a health related condition or maybe you’ve signed up for your first run.

Those answers are going to help you stay committed to your plan. When you have a clear goal and a focused mind, you will be motivated to achieve it!


 General Advice:

If you haven’t been active for quite some time, your muscles may have become weak, imbalanced or stiff.

For your first few sessions, work on your stability and mobility, cardiovascular fitness and flexibility. Stretching, power walking, pilates, jogging or light body weight exercises are all great choices to kick start your routine. These will help get your heart pumping and increase blood circulation to your muscles and cells.

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Always begin with a proper warm up sesh and end with a cool down and some light stretching. Foam roll every now and then. This avoids any unnecessary pain/injury.

Remember to always listen to your body. You know how you feel and nobody else knows your body better than YOU! If you need an extra rest day, TAKE IT! You don’t want to burn out before you even begin!FullSizeRender

I hope this helps! Before you convince your body, remember to convince your mind! Your mind is a powerful tool. If you think you can do it, you can! Set your mind straight, be confident and I’m sure you’ll bounce back to where you were before!

Don’t give up!

 

Getting Back on Track

Hello!

Sorry for the lack of updates here on my blog. If you didn’t already know, I was down with dengue fever for the last 2 weeks. I spent the first half of the week at home, puking my guts out and suffering from head spasms, one whole week lying on the hospital bed and the next half of the week trying to regain my strength. Those were really tough phases.

I have never been this sick in my life (thank God for good health!) and I have never been admitted to the hospital before. It was a whole “new experience” and I had to adapt to my immediate environment whilst being sick.

IMG_5873The little printed man is so cute.

Being in the hospital was depressing. I had the IV drip on the back of my hand and I had to lug the whole machine wherever I went! It is a very common thing to have on you when you’re admitted to the hospital. But can you imagine people who have long-term sickness/disease, who constantly go in and out of the hospital, those who have multiple wires and machines attached to them, it is almost impossible to move without feeling like it is a chore!

I resisted drinking a lot of water because whenever I had to go to the toilet, I had to drag the machine that had unoiled wheels and I had to fiddle with the tube on top of having this unexplained fear at the idea of having a needle sticking out from the back of your hand. It was too much for me to handle (haaaaaa!).

IMG_5845We (my dad and I) were both down with dengue! URGH! My dad had it worse. He underwent platelet transfusion.

I realised how much I took “convenience” for granted. You should be grateful that you can just stand up and walk from point to point. We do it so often that we forget that we should be thankful to be able to do just THAT!FullSizeRender(2)

It was a horrible experience. I couldn’t sleep at night, I was tired from just 10 minutes of walking, I had the worst episodes of headaches……and the list goes on. The ONLY good thing was probably having unscheduled REST and most of my time was spent watching movies. Sounds like the perfect holiday (HAH!)! I couldn’t read because my head hurt and I couldn’t focus.Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetThe best breakfast in hospital – PANCAKES! OM NOM NOM!

On My Fitness Level

Being immobilised in the hospital has definitely taken its toll on my fitness level. It was not as if I took 2 weeks off from running and still being active with life.

It was 2 weeks of sickness and being bed ridden! 2 weeks of immobility! 2 weeks of doing absolutely NOTHING!IMG_9461

It was depressing. The idea of losing everything that you have built up over the months in a matter of a few weeks. In fact, the day I had my first sign of high fever was the day I started proper training. I did a quality workout that evening and had fever by 2am. I initially thought it was because I had over trained (HAH!). That quality workout came to nothing (boooo!)!

A Season for Everything

Instead of feeling sorry for myself, depress, sad and unmotivated, I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture. There is a time and place for everything. A time for happiness, joy, sickness, birth, diseases, downtime, accidents, peak performance……

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Life gets in the way and that’s just the way it is. You cannot expect life to be smooth sailing all the way. What matters is what you do with your circumstances.

How are you going to face it? How are you going to pull yourself up? How are you going to get back on your feet?FullSizeRender_3

For me, it is a test of perseverance and strength. It is not easy to start ALL over again. I can’t say I haven’t thought of giving up. That is the easiest way out. But what’s life if you always take the easy way out?FullSizeRender(1)

First 10KM

I did my first 10KM the other day. My first steps in 2 weeks! I am not exaggerating when I say it felt like the first time I laced up for a run. Breathing was all over the place, my legs felt like lead, my back was so stiff – I felt like TIN MAN!

I need to dig deep to find that motivation, discipline and determination. WHERE ARE YOU! Hats off to those who have just started/halfway through!Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

10KM felt like a marathon.

What can you learn from this?

Wherever you are in your fitness journey (or life), KEEP GOING! DO NOT (for whatever reason) GIVE UP! It is easy to give up but it is SO HARD to get going again.FullSizeRender_1(1)

Trust me, you do not want this.

HEALTH is WEALTH!

Whatever you do, make sure your health is in check. Wealth is nothing compared to health. If I was the richest person on earth lying on that hospital bed, so what? The money will only go to my hospital fee.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetStarbucks at the hospital. This was heaven. SEE! Something so simple tasted SO GOOD!

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This was after I got out from the hospital. CRAVED for waffles (for some weird reason)! We waited ONE HOUR FOR THIS!

IMG_6002Had to satisfy my green tea cravings too.

God and My Family = EVERYTHING (to me)!      

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Appreciate the simple things in life that money cannot buy. STOP WANTING MORE! You have enough!

IMG_5999The sister came back to visit the dengue patients. WHOOP!

IMG_6001Calvin and Hobbes!

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetMy mom pampered me with beef ball noodles!

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetAnd pork noodles! SO SO GOOD!IMG_6050

Of course, MOOCOW! IMG_6029

Pretty flowers from Swan <3!

IMG_5906Grapes from Swan and the rest from Joanne Lee. So loved! Thank you to everyone who visited and those who wanted to visit (but I told them not to)! It is the thought that counts! LOVE ya’ll!

I am hoping to bounce back soon! Let’s see how this goes! FullSizeRender_2

Once again, thank you for all your prayers, love and care! GOD IS AMAZING!