Category Archives: #RAW

MAYHEM – First few weeks in Sydney!

Exactly how I would describe my first few weeks back in Sydney.Processed with VSCO with f2 preset


Week 1 & 2

I arrived on Sunday morning (29th January) after travelling through the night for 8 hours. Safe to say that I did not get much shut-eye. My aunt came to pick me up from the airport and we were off to an extended family CNY lunch.

Rushed back to my auntโ€™s place to repack my bag to move to my friendโ€™s place (Ming). THANK GOD she was staying just 10 minutes away from my 1st placement site. That takes away the transport-planning stress.

God’s timing is PERFECT! They just got the place a week before I arrived. I moved in BEFORE she did. I guess I “warmed” up her room for her.

IMG_1427So GRATEFUL to have this gem in my life. ๐Ÿ™‚ Always looking out for me and worrying about me not having a BED/TABLE/CHAIR etc. I thank God for YOU! I would have been homeless and lost for the first 2 weeks in Sydney! Thanks for your awesome room! LOVE YOU!

IMG_4594Also, Woolies was right next to us (THANK GOD!). I went to grab food to survive the week. Came back, made some food, set aside my clothes for the next day and it was time for bed. I WAS COMPLETELY SMASHED by the end of the day.

FullSizeRenderWoke up extra early the next day to test the transport system (CANNOT BE LATE ON THE FIRST DAY!). It was all good, taking only 10 mins by bus.

First week of placement went really well! Everyone is SO NICE. I have 3 very lovely supervisors. Very excited for the upcoming weeks!IMG_4669The Nutrition and Dietetics department sure knows how to throw a party!


 

It was a lot for me to swallow in just one week. Leaving home on the first day of Chinese new year + Packing and moving + New suburb + New place + First day of placement + Getting used to regular working hours + Stress from placement + Transport system + Exploring my surroundings + Shopping and cooking + Cleaning + Working outโ€ฆ and just trying to get back to a normal routine and life. I am a person that lives on a routine. I like to have it all in my head (at least). It has been a challenging week of just trying to adjust to what I have.

At the same time, I was frantically looking for a place to stay! I spent HOURS and 3 out of 6 precious Gbs of data that I had just looking/msg-ing/email-ing practically every place I could find.

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Hannah Banana! <3 Much needed catch up sesh! Again, so thankful to have her in my life. We spent the day walking, shopping, eating and pouring our hearts out! Just what we needed. ๐Ÿ™‚

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetRunning the stress away!


Background story:

I have 5 placement sites this semester. They are all over the place. To me, TIME is very precious. I’d rather move 5 times than to spend my days in the bus/train travelling for a total of 3 hours. And so, the house hunt quest continues!


FINALLY, at the end of week 1, I found a new temporary home for placement sites 1 and 2. There’s a twist to the story. Minutes after we had settled and arranged everything, the landlord had to cut my stay short by 2 weeks (due to something he claimed was a “long story”). I was at the mall and tears literally rolled down my face. I was just TOO STRESSED OUT! GAH!

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetMoved out of Ming’s place after 2 weeks and into my new home for the next 4 weeks!

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetAs of today, I still have no idea where I’m staying for those 2 weeks. That’s a worry for another day. HAAAAA! Currently living out of my suitcase.

Snapshots of my life:

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetTake time out for yourself, clear your mind, focus, pray and just CHILL. #doyou

IMG_5776This is dinner… most of the time. Along with some veges, meat and fruit.

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetCheers to 1 dollar pineapples!

IMG_5510And 2.50 mangoes! SUMMER FRUITS! YUMMMMM!

IMG_4601Lunch.

IMG_5795OD-ed on sushi rolls. I’ve been having this every single day! SO GOOD!

IMG_5540Conducted a small group education session for the Drug and Alcohol group on FIBRE AND HEALTHY POO!

IMG_5515Got them to make all the different types of poo from play dough! SO FUN!

IMG_5541They were very cooperative when it came to making the poo and the reading of food labels. Phew!

IMG_5666Our nutrition booth for Australia’s Healthy Weight Week! It was such a good time getting ppl to play the “guess how many tsp of sugar is in this drink” game, filling out quizzes and giving simple education on healthy eating and exercise! #wellbeing #healthylife #lifestyle


3 weeks down! I cannot THANK GOD enough for seeing me through this time. Indeed, I am NOTHING without Him. Feeling very blessed and realized how much I have taken โ€œconvenienceโ€ for granted. Just grateful to live another day!

Everyone goes through tough times. Social media can be deceiving. Ppl seem to think I have it easy but you don’t know what goes on BTS.

The next time you face a tough period, don’t ask God “WHY ME”, instead ask “Show me YOUR will and YOUR power”.

 

Side note: I’ve been in the gastro/oncology wards and it has made me realize that HEALTH is WEALTH. Appreciate what you have and the body that you are living in. CHEERS!

SUMMER BREAK 2016 – MALAYSIA

Hello from the OTHER SIDE

… again!

Reporting live from Sydney! Thank God I made it back in one piece (barely actually. haha). I FEEL SO EXHAUSTED. Sorry for being MIA (again!). I was busy with moving (2nd time and counting), work and most importantly, I HAD NO WIFI! #toughlife


The days leading up to my flight back to Sydney were absolute chaos (the good and the bad kind). Good because I had a lot of catch ups and meet ups. Bad because well, panic packing (HAAAAA!).

Leaving home for the second time was tough. You’re no longer going to a new place. While I have many other different things to look forward to (placement program, new temporary accommodation, meeting new ppl etc), there’s still that sense of familiarity. I’m not too sure if that’s a good or bad thing. Maybe it is neutral. I guess I’m anxious and excited at the same time. Excited that I’ll be going back and starting a new sem but ANXIOUS BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. GAHHHH!

But either way, I MISS HOME!

This is going to be a tough semester. It will be a steep learning curve on my end. Praying that I’ll stay sane and that all goes well!

NOT ready to do life (HAHAHAH!). I hope I will be able to update my blog and write as often as I would like to.


Let’s jump back to my summer break in MALAYSIA.

It was a good 2 months back home. I was able to do whatever I wanted to do and also catch up with family and friends.

My last 2 weeks in Malaysia (felt like dejavu from the last time I left) were “difficult”. SO many things had happened in that short span of time that I cannot even begin to describe what I went through. It felt like I was stuck in a blackhole. When you’re feeling everything between the extreme ends of the emotional meter, you just feel detached from reality. #lostRomans 15-13

In between the series of unfortunate events, I was able to see the silver lining (THANKFULLY!). There were also many things to be grateful for.


 

Shoving all unhappiness aside, I was VERY productive. I had written a long to-do list the minute I came home. I did not get through half of it until the last 2 weeks! We seem to able to function under pressure.

I felt a sense of urgency. Humans are funny. We only seem to appreciate when we lose/about to lose something. Just like how we only start to take care of ourselves when something goes wrong (sickness, disease etc) or how we seem to be able to complete an assignment 5 hours before it is due.

For me (and others), I felt the NEED to DO things and to SEE people (before going back to Sydney). Thank you to each and every one of you for spending your time with me (you know who you are).

make_it_happen_motivational_quotes

I guess my point is that we don’t DO enough or APPRECIATE enough until we don’t have the luxury of it anymore (whatever “it” is).

Don’t wait till it is too late. JUST DO IT!

This year, I am trying to make a conscious effort to just be present. I still find it difficult to BE in the moment. My mind is always in the future, worrying and thinking of what is ahead.

Ok, I shall not bore you with how I feel.


HIGHLIGHTS of my summer break:

IMG_1669First meal back home!

Had an extended family dinner the day I arrived! ALL THE MALAYSIAN FOOD! SO SO SO GOOD! Catching up with family over food is the best.

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetSIEW BAOS! Only the best from Jln Imbi. OH How I’ve missed you!

IMG_1955And of course, POPIAH! This uncle still remembers my special order.

IMG_1906Seafood dinner for my aunt’s birthday.

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetFamily Wefie! It’s a thing now.

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetTHUG LIFE with the granny.

FullSizeRender_1 copy 4Made it back in time to celebrate the life of this VERY SPECIAL PERSON. <3 Thanks for ALWAYS being there and having my back.

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetOverdue massage sesh. Too much walking in Sydney. #toughlife haha!

IMG_1975Very old issue of Running Malaysia but I was still able to have that 5 seconds of fame-fan-moment.

IMG_2208Camp commy for this year’s VBSJourney Off the MapSORTA. Fell sick for the FIRST TIME in 2016 on the VERY first day of VBS! Talk about good timing (I BLAME ALL THE FOOD!).

On that note, I really thank God for my health throughout my time in Sydney. I had ZERO signs of sickness. #blessed

IMG_4473Tres Amigas Buenas! <3 ALWAYS a good time with these 2! #forlife

IMG_2429Trio! So good to catch up on each other’s lives. We’ve changed so much over the years but glad to know that some things still remain the same. ๐Ÿ™‚

IMG_2258TT – Track Tuesday! I can ALWAYS count on them to crack lame jokes and to provide relevant updates on running/non-running/useless info in our group chat! I literally LAUGH OUT LOUD every time! So good to have them around.

IMG_2821MMT’s Tom, Dick and Harry’s 7th Anniversary! WOOHOO! Always feel right at home with this bunch. ๐Ÿ™‚ Ever so supportive!

IMG_2828The girls <3

IMG_2830Trying to recreate our last pose. ๐Ÿ˜›

IMG_2714And of course, PUMA! <3 So much has changed. A lot of our “old” members have grown out of the group and moved on in their running life (very happy for them!). It was good to see the “new wave”.

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These 2. When we are together, we’re the loudest. #noshame #goodtimes!

IMG_3785MONASH-ians! <3 We haven’t seen each other in a long time but it felt just like our uni days. And hello JANEY!

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetSummer job at Fit Orange! I wouldn’t call it a “JOB”. More like PLAYTIME!

 

IMG_3582Decided to dedicate my time to training my brother. 2 months of working out consistently! #gains He is so much stronger and healthier now. I will definitely miss our training sessions together! I am glad to know that he has kept the momentum going. Always asking me for workouts and a plan. #happytears #allthefeels #proudsis

IMG_4140Getting my legs fixed at APPLE PHYSIO! Happy to announce that I am FEELING A LOT BETTER! Slowing getting back into the swing of things… VERY very very slow that is. I have come to realise that I am in it for the long run. Why rush?

Just enjoying every moment I get to MOVE! #grateful

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetThese guys… JOKERS! So full of themselves. #runningbrunchbuddies

FullSizeRender 2Christmas family wefie!

FullSizeRender copy 3More runs with MMT!

FullSizeRender_1 copyThanks Jason for the invite! Got a chance to try my very first spinning class! SO MUCH FUN!

Seriously, give it a go! You’ll be sweating buckets. Oh, and you are required to strap on a HR monitor… NO CHEATING!

PUSH! No pain, no GAIN!

IMG_3995Gong Xi Fa Cai with the #Garminbuddies

FullSizeRender copyMore session at Apple! I have a long way to go! THANKS JESS! <3 If you’re looking for a good physio, well, you’re looking at one! ๐Ÿ˜‰

FullSizeRender copy 7With my fav kid! <3 Board games night with the church mates till… 2am?

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetHeart to heart talks and pigging out with Sylvia. What we do best! <3

 

IMG_4005Crab feast courtesy of Colin @ Crazy Crabs!

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetIndian food. 30 ringgit for a roti in Sydney… I’ll be missing this!

FullSizeRender copy 5Lou sang with TT. So much laughter... my tummy was hurting!

FullSizeRender copy 2Brother’s 15th Birthday! <3

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetI miss having my kakak around! She has been with me for 27 years and counting! She is ALWAYS looking out for me and cooking all my fav foods. She knows me too well. <3

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetSpecial thanks to Garmin Malaysia for all their SUPPORT in my fitness journey. From running to gym based workouts. These watches are so versatile, there is a function for everything! When I got injured, I was still able to track my HR, workouts, cycling etc!

IMG_4301Catching up with Lucas and his #rants. #jokes!

IMG_4261Always fooling around and having a good time at Fit Orange, talking about all things HEALTH and FITNESS!

FullSizeRender copy 4The bosses behind Fit Orange! Thank you once again for this awesome opportunity to explore EMS!

FullSizeRender_4Already missing this kid T_T!

FullSizeRender_3Lou sang with runners and someone who plays a crucial role in a runner’s life (physiotherapist!). Haha! Special thanks to Kian Ming for dinner!

FullSizeRender_2Special Lou Sang set @ Runner’s Cafe! It was really good, something different! If you’re a runner and live in Malaysia, CHECK THEM OUT!

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetKC girls unite! I love how we just… CLICK! <3 #friendshipgoals

FullSizeRender_1ICE CREAM! #shamelessselfie #selfiestick #notmine

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetLast run in KL before I leave! Shoes were washed and ready to go! Oh, and thanks to Puma Malaysia for these AWESOME minimalist kicks!

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetFinally got to meet Kian Ming and his wife, Ee Leng! Before this, we’ve only ever “seen” each other on social media. I love how that brings people together! Thanks for being so genuine, down to earth, supportive, encouraging and #real.ย 

Somebody has got a goal to hit this year. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Watch out world!

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetRunning TWIN! She’s always keeping me up to date about ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING! I’m still amazed at how similar we are – food and running! I miss running with you! Come to Sydney for a run kay? All the best to your #roadtosub345! That goal is yours, go get it! ๐Ÿ™‚

IMG_4552MCKL-ians! Missing our Skype sesh! This bunch will ALWAYS be there when you need em. LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! <3

IMG_4563Last yummy dinner before I left for Sydney!

Pre-CNY family dinner! <3 MISSING YOU GUYS! <3


Just some of the BEST bits of my Summer! I’m sure I’ve missed out on many other things. I apologise in advance if I’ve left you out (def not intentional)!

SO SORRY to those that I’ve not been able to catch up with! Next round.

Back to reality now. Back to the grind!


Keep an eye out for another update…

because HELLO WIFI!

ย Till then, keep doing #YOU!

#RAW: Transformation

HOLA to all my readers! ๐Ÿ˜€

I know I have been SLACKING a LOT in 2016 (thankfully, 2017 is just around the corner. An excuse to start over :P).

Blogging is NOT easy! It is pretty time consuming. While I love to blog for fun, I also want to make sure that the content that I put on here IS BACKED UP by science. I want to provide my readers with the latest (and accurate) information! Plus, I am a perfectionist. So it takes EXTRA effort just to make sure that I get everything right.

Thank you for bearing with me! I love each and every one of you and I am SO grateful for your suppport. More posts coming up (Hopefully!).


I want to share a little about my recent “transformation”.

If you’ve been following me here (the blog) or on my Instagram (@adelewlp) or FaceBook, you would have known that I have been suffering from plantar fasciitis since June 2016. It came to a point where I had no choice but to give up running… completely!IMG_3125When a runner stops running…

It was quite timely. My body needed a break but I was not ready, mentally. Since picking up racing in 2014, I had not stopped running or racing. I did not take any sort of break (even after my first Full Marathon). I just kept pushing.


Fear

A huge part of me was afraid of losing the progress that I’ve made. I was at my fittest (or close to). I knew that I had not reached my peak and I just wanted to keep going.FullSizeRender_1

I love challenges and I like to set goals. When I have set my mind to it, I would usually go all out and do whatever it takes to get there. My goal was to reach my peak (whatever that was). I was so fixated on that goal that I lost sight of everything else. Training was very time consuming and I had to sacrifice many things along the way.

Self Love and Self Confidence

You truly are your worst enemy. It was easy for me to help other people but I was very hard on myself. Whenever I failed to achieve what I wanted, I would “punish” myself. Either through more running (even if it hurt) or not letting myself eat my fav treat (HAHAHHA! I LOVE FOOD!).Processed with VSCO with f2 presetIn many ways, I also lacked self confidence. I was afraid of taking off days. I wasn’t confident in myself. I feared I could not bounce back after a rest day (although I have proven myself wrong many times!). I was afraid that the rest day could potentially turn into a rest week, month or years! WHO KNOWS! Those were my thoughts. CRAZY I KNOW!

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“Ideal” Racing Weight

When it comes to running performance, body weight matters. Everyone has an ideal racing weight. As your weight increases, the cost of energy increases. This translates to slower times.FullSizeRender_1

It is a fine line between your best racing weight and staying within your healthy weight range. My best racing weight was very difficult to maintain. It was especially hard for me because I LOVE ICE CREAM AND CAKE. In essence, I did not have enough body fat. I may have been running well, but I was not healthy.

Identity

Running is a big part of me. I love it. FullSizeRenderI was a runner. I was known as one. Running was my everything. It consumed me. I lived and breathed the sport. And I guess in many ways, I didn’t want to “lose my identity”.

FullSizeRender

When my injury pushed me to give it up (for now), I struggle for a bit. But God showed me nothing but grace. He helped me through and made me realise that there was more to life than just running. I started experimenting with other forms of workouts and activities, the ones that I have been wanting to do. I have been cycling, lifting weights and doing Kayla Itsines’s BBG guides. I was able to do more “interactive activities”. It was a huge change from what I was used to.

IMG_1300ย  IMG_0169 I was thrown out of my comfort zone. Was I afraid? YES! Am I settling for less? NO! This is not me giving up. This is me making decisions and doing what is BEST for me. I no longer need anything to validate my existence. Not my achievements, medals, trophies, certificates, or even running.

FullSizeRender

I AM ENOUGH.


ย I am stronger, both physically and mentally.

I know that I am capable. I know that I CAN!

IMG_3066I found myself. I found balance. I am learning to love every bit of me, both at my highest and at my lowest. God has given me this incredible body and it is my responsibility to love and take care of it.


I do not need a title to represent ME.

I am still the same person.

Disciplined. Determined. Stubborn.IMG_2864

BUT!

I now have:

Different goals. Different mindset. Different physical pursuit. Different concept of self.

I am who I am. It is as simple as that.

xoxo

*If you can relate and want someone to talk to, let me know :)*

 

Officially OFF Running

Since my last post on injury……

I have NOT stopped running.

I said that I would cut down on mileage. And I did! Although I did not mention anything about cutting down on intensity (teehee!).

Low mileage + more rest = more ENERGY

I tend to go a bit harder than usual when I do get to run. I even managed to clock my best 5K on grass (HAHA!). Oh, if only I was injury free! T_T


So, since my first sign of injury in early March, I have been doing a mixture of tempo runs, easy runs, grass runs, recovery runs, long runs and strength training (once/twice a week).

FullSizeRender 3Because resting did not take the pain away (and sometimes, it made it WORSE!), I decided to just run along with the pain. The usual routine would be resting for 2-3 days, and then smashing out a harder run before being immobilised again for the next few days. And the cycle continues.

Well, your body can only do SO MUCH before it decides to go against you.

Psssst, you cannot fight nature! ๐Ÿ˜›


One fine day…

I was feeling great after taking 4 days off running! Mid way through my run, I decided to push it! I managed to do my 10K race pace and it felt GREAT! But what came after was not THAT GREAT!

I. Could. Not. WALK. The. Next. Day.

Every step I took was unbearable. Sharp, intense, stabbing pains shot up from my foot to my hamstring. I REALLY messed it up this time. Probably tore something. I have a relatively high tolerance when it comes to pain (and that’s how I was able to run through pain) but this was not something that I could handle anymore.


I spoke to a friend about this. My friend looked at my foot and said “Poor little foot, your owner does not LOVE you”.

And THAT REALLY hit me…hard. Like, WHOAAAAAAA!FullSizeRender_3

Writing about this feels pretty stupid. Heh, if I were to look at someone who was in my shoes, I’d think that that person was INSANE! But I can bet every crazy runner out there would have continued to run through pain (HAHHAHHAHA! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! DON’T DENY IT! :P). I guess only insane obsessive runners would completely understand what I did?! (Guys, back me up here. :P)


But really, as I was sitting there, staring into space and contemplating on what my friend had said…FullSizeRender

My heart ached, PHYSICALLY!

What am I doing? Why am I destroying the very foundation of my body? Why am I fighting the signs of pain and warning that something is not right? Why am I going against what my body is telling me to do? What am I trying to prove?IMG_4132

God has blessed me with everything that I need and so much MORE.ย  But I was throwing it all away… and for what?


I finally came to my senses. I have decided to HANG my shoes up (OH YES, you read it right) for as long as it would take for my foot to be completely healed. No easy runs, no recovery runs, NOTHING!FullSizeRender_2

I am on DAY 15 of 0 mileage. Feeling pretty accomplished!

I am mentally at peace with this decision. The physical pain built up over time has made me fear running. I am scared. Whenever I see/read about running on social media, I CRINGE. It hurts physically to even THINK about it.


This is where I am at! But I know that time will heal everything. Woohoo! In the meantime, I might need to change my domain name. Processed with VSCO with f2 presetBahahhaha. Any IDEAS?! www.adelenolongerruns.com?


Take it from me, DO NOT ignore the warning signs from your body. It is telling you that something is wrong. All your body ever wants to do is to keep you ALIVE.FullSizeRender_1

God gave you one body. LOVE it with all your HEART!

Sneak peek of what I have been up to! More on that in my next post. ๐Ÿ˜‰Processed with VSCO with f2 preset

Take care <3

#RAW: Injury

Hello everyone!

It has been 3 weeks (or more) since my last update. I have been bogged down with uni work and basically “living life” here in Sydney (and loving every bit of it!). I will share some nutrition/health/fitness stuff soon ( YES, I WILL!)! But for today, I am here to pen down my emotions.


You know how you are your worse advisor/counsellor when it comes to certain things? It is ALWAYS easier to give suggestions/advice/warnings to OTHER people, but when it comes down to giving it to yourself, you fail miserably. And this is why psychologists need to see psychologist, physios need physios and coaches need other coaches to coach them.Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset

Running in Sydney has been AWESOME! The weather is great, the roads/paths are decent and it is generally safe to run anywhere (during daylight). Plus, the fact that I am in a new city, I have that URGE and NEED to explore every inch of it.

You can probably see where this is going.

I am the MASTER of doing too much too soon. I tend to get overly excited with results and how I feel to the point where I forget to give my body a break.IMG_6740

I have been logging more miles, doing more speed work, more strength training, roughing out long runs and I must say, I am at my FITTEST. I have never ran so much (at this current pace) with such ease……

Just when everything is going perfectly well……

BAMMMMMMMMMM!

Life just wants to throw a curve ball at you.

Injury strikes!Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

I have been plagued with the much dreaded plantar fasciitis. I am into my 6th week of injury. With or without running, I have NOT been pain-free since. For the first 4 weeks, I continued to run through pain (I was trying to be a SUPERHERO). But this pain has been constant and intense. I only started to cut back on the mileage and intensity in the past 2 weeks. I find it difficult to even walk properly.FullSizeRender_2

Note to self


The Cause:

I have come to the conclusion that my injury is not purely from running. It is a combination of too much too soon, footwear, tight muscles and WALKING.

Yep, WALKING. I realised that I don’t know how to walk properly. Walking is VERY technical. Don’t underestimate this simple daily activity. The effect is magnified when walking is your main form of transportation.FullSizeRenderkfjaskjfTime to pause and reflect

I lack ankle mobility. I’m a lazy walker and I tend to drag my feet (instead of lifting them off the ground).

I have never walked this much in my life. At the end of the day, I would have already walked 8-10km. My legs and feet are sore even before I begin my run!

So, the high frequency of walking coupled with the way I walk = DISASTER


Last week, I ran till I had tears streaming down my face. Sounds a bit dramatic but that was what happened. I was physically in pain and I guess the emotions from whatever that I was dealing with came along and decided to hit me in the face. I was stressed and the thing I enjoyed most (running) to help me deal with stress was causing me SO MUCH PAIN. I was just frustrated with everything.FullSizeRender

And I am CONSTANTLY reminded of the pain because it is always there. Sometimes, it just decides to inflict you with stabs/throbs of pain.


So this is where I’m at.IMG_1777

In Pain

Unmotivated

Sad

Frustrated

Stressed


I may be over-dramatising it. ๐Ÿ˜›

Don’t worry. I am OKAY! I am dealing with it, slowly. Praying, a lot of self-talk and supportive friends from here and back home have really helped! So much love.FullSizeRender_1

I feel the need to be strong and positive/happy all the time.

But not today.

How is EVERYONE ELSE?